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Sorry, I have no time to call...

(03/01/2004; 10:42pm) - Sorry, I have no time to call...

i disappear in to the late night, half the time working until 3am,
sometimes drinking myself into my bed, exhausted,
once in a while flirting until we get thrown out of the bar
it's all like dancing.
dancing is the most fun there is in life,
there and then now, and almost invisible in the poor lighting

then there's dawn, and you slide through that door into the real world
my laundry, my bills, my aching head, everything?s still so fuzzy,
but is it my eyes or my brain...
and my feet hurt but you feel soo good because all I did was dance.

it's the early morning, some where in some city
the world you knew so well last night blinks by,
now it only has dog walkers and bums...
and brilliant sunlight reflecting off the glass.

i'm don't know where i'm going this day,
or the next, with my tired feet and enthusiastic spirit.
all i can do is shiver and smile
and wander.

i don't know if I'm going up,
i hope to hell I'm not going down,
and i'm just going to keep trying
to do what I do ever day
that makes me proud of myself,
and makes me happy.
I was asked recently a question about money,
that made me think...
what am i saving for?
am i doing all those stupid things that will make me a great story teller when I'm old?
enjoying things in retrospect is always common,
but i don't want to be thrilled, excited or joyful after the fact.
i live here and i live now
I love me and my smile and the brilliant and beautiful people i talk to everyday.

so i think,
i think thoroughly...
about what i am saving for,
and ask myself about my dancing,
and try to make sure that i pay enough attention
to enjoy disappearing into the night.