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Not of your design
i don't think like you
so why should i write like you
my thoughts
my world

(03/12/2004; 10:25pm) - ::rewind:: a week to forget

the week was not my own
i dont know its owner
only that its breaks & pauses were not for me

caught in a torrent of drama not my own
i fought the tide
and struggled to break the surface
only to drown
and be washed ashore



(03/16/2004; 08:13pm) - ::rewind:: deep impact

and *WAMF*
it hits me
a truth i don't want
a reality i can't reconcile


(03/14/2004; 04:05pm) - truth #37

in a corner
with my back against the wall
things get scary
for you
not me


(03/14/2004; 02:55pm) - ::rewind:: no really, is it?

is it cowardice
to look at yourself
and realize
that yes. YES!! you do need help
and things would be worse without someone there

i can do this
I CAN do this
I can be big
I will stare them down
but it will be harder::so much harder::
if someone::like you::
isn't there in my corner
to make sure i don't tear out their juggular



(03/14/2004; 03:55am) - ::rewind:: drunk on 3/14 {duplicity}

i can feign wit like a mocking bird mimics calls
and banter like a bastard until forever gets bored
so
she doesn't see me swallow my heart
and erase the future
i so desperately want to be a part of


(03/14/2004; 03:45am) - ::rewind:: drunk on 3/14 {like josh}

i'm one of those
waiting to be struck over the head
painting the bullseye for all to see
while pretending the target is::even::there

broadcasting conflicting signals
waiting for the one
who will ignore them all
and tell me what i want


(03/14/2004; 03:10am) - ::rewind:: drunk on 3/14

drunk and alone
i stand on a train platform
fighting the cold::and overwhelming laughter::
waiting to be taken home


(03/14/2004; 02:52am) - ::rewind:: drunk on 3/14 {aaron sorkin is like unto a god}

so she said to him on the phosphorus tube
"you know the things with guys like you"
"what's the thing with guys like me he said" he replied
"you're one of those that want to be hit over the head"
and i realized i was too
and feeling less alone, i smiled


(03/14/2004; 02:42am) - ::rewind:: drunk on 3/14 {gonzo}

at a party today
i saw the possible futures
those whom i could let in
those whom i could offer no resistance to
but there were no takers


(03/14/2004; 02:38am) - driving to heaven (for real)

for the first time i know what the song means.
or at least i exist in the moment that i always forsaw

me
here
stuck on a train
with a collision course with the future

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