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a moment of free time, before weeks of free time...

(03/18/2003; 04:50pm) - a moment of free time, before weeks of free time...

I?ve been working a lot on the idea that I love my friends but I don?t want to own who or what they are. I want to have enough confidence in myself to not need the power I barrow from them. When I read what my friends write I want to love them and not what to own them. When my friends sing or speak in great ways I want to appreciate and not be jealous of them.

So in balance with that I am learning? here?s a moment of what comes next.

When I talk to people, places, far away dreams, the moments that they are in are not the moments that I am in. I can appreciate where they are and what they are but that does not have to change me or what I am doing. I can still be and love. Feelings move for the moment, and change by the hour. Despite your or my angst, they do not govern life.

Sometimes I feel like I have to go. I have to grow. I have to move, so I know that I am breathing. But I am here, in my own space and way. And I am growing and I am breathing. So, despite the rush I feel inside me, my own twisted creation, I really am still doing the best thing for me.

I just have to let the sea pound on by. It can crash against the coast and I can sit back and watch it. Enjoy it and love it, with out being swept out to drown or being forced to swim.

And it?s ok to be caught up by the blast,
to run through the spray,
and it?s ok to come home again,
at the end of the day.



Can you feel it?
Slowly distilling down?
Words growing great. Moments growing short.
Meaning elucidated with out so much wasted time.
The poetry is growing.
Can you feel it?
It?s growing.