A Dizzy In The Lizzy
(12/19/2002; 10:09am) - Mariah Carey is a wacko, hack our site again, shall we go to war?
Work is getting monotonous. Come in, check email, fiddle around, get coffee. Hopefully get a project to do. Something for lunch. Slow afternoon. Leave spent, probably for lack of stimulation.
The highlights of my day are always virtual, streaming in through 1s and 0s. Reading Boondocks and Get Fuzzy online. Shooting the shit in our beloved fora. The odd phone call from friend/family. Oh hey! Another holiday gift basket full of cookies and chocolate to make us fatter! Is there any fruit up in there? Ugh, uber-sticky candied apricots? That'll have to do.
Fun part of yesterday? Seeing my GF for 5 minutes before work, and going to the gym after.
And eating ants on a log for dinner.
Tonight there's Joy 6 (DB, Frankie Bones, X-Dream, Nigel Richards, Knowledge, etc) at Shelter but my GF has to study and my friends are otherwise occupied. Poop. I may go it alone but I may veg on the couch instead.
Fun things to look forward to:
Dentist appt on Fri morn (hey, at least it breaks up the monotony!) and my boss' X-Mas party friday night.
Okay, I'm going to wrap this up because I realize that I'm beginning to wear James van der Beek's crazy face from The Rules of Attraction, and that's just bad news.
B out, intellectually catatonic
(12/16/2002; 11:54am) - There's no reason for me to be here...
I mean, I have to be here so that I don't use up one of my sick or personal days.
But I'm not doing anything. At all. Really. I have no work to do. I've been surfing the net all day. I'd actually LIKE to have something to do, the day passes faster that way.
I'd rather be in bed. Preferably with my woman.
We went out last night to Limelight, Vitor Caulderone was spinning some decent house. Not my favorite shit to dance to but it's a fun place to be and a great place to party with my GF. Stayed out till 3 or so, then back to her place to watch silly TV. We watched MSNBC Investigates: Underground Dog Fighting!!! It was funny, they made pitbulls out to be basically insane rabid killers, and their owners to be heartless violent felons, neither of which is true. As we watched this her pitbull was curled up on the bed with us, laying on his back with his paws in the air as she scratched his tummy. He was smiling and after a couple minutes, he started to snore and pretty much looked very cute and contented.
I didn't get to sleep till 5 something so today is yet another cracked-out, sleepy day at the office with nothing to do.
On the up side, a most amazingly sweet and wonderful email from my GF was waiting for me in my inbox today, an earnest declaration of love whch made me fly.
I found some sidewalk chalk yesterday and left her some notes on her doorstep for her to find when she came home yesterday. Things with her are peachy. So no matter how lame work is, I really can't complain.
B out
(12/13/2002; 09:55pm) - The Good, The Bad & The Ugly on Friday the 13th
GOOD:
-Billy Crystal
-Watching the sun rise this morning with my girl
-payday
-Fridays
-Being decisive when it counts
-Being able to wear jeans to work today
-having a weekend ahead with no plans
BAD:
-Not enough sleep
-Feeling tweaked out at work
-Getting to office early; no one here; nothing to do
-Lots of people are sick! WTF!?
-Suddenly burning bridges, in theory
-Having to help my boss move offices today
UGLY:
-Me, of course, what did you expect?
-Dubya
-Current local & global political climates
(12/12/2002; 05:27pm) - Perfunctory. Compulsory...
...words I don't use enough in my everyday speech. (And for good reason- I can hardly pronounce them!)
This is an obligatory blog, a token blog, if you will.
For nothing much happened today.
This time of the year the real estate market slows. I guess. We'll see if the same thing happens next year. Slow days at work sorta drag; I enjoy being busy and productive. Today was so slow that I went shopping at Bloomingdale's and Express. Didn't buy anything; I can't afford to.
GF sent me an animated greeting featuring a chihuahua pissing everywhere to the tune of some Christmas song. How sweet of her!
She's awesome as usual.
I drank a tad too much last night and woke up with a slight headache.
See? Nothing happened.
I'm going home now to make ants on a log for dinner.
Watch TV, drink tea.
Ahhhh....
B out
(12/11/2002; 10:31am) - All you need is just a little patience...
...and whatever you want will come to you.
Got email from ex today.
Synopsis, with sentence fragments, to make a long story short:
"I picked up on the following hints you dropped:
-didn't answer any of my calls except when I called you from someone else's number
-seemed hesitant to talk to me on phone
-did not come to my party after you said you would.
I feel we're close enough to cut thru the BS.
We could still have a beautiful friendship.
Write back and tell me why you're doing this or I'm going to assume you want to have nothing to do with me."
In my opinion you sorta lose friendship priveledges when you break someone's heart.
And don't act like you don't know why they're mad at you or perhaps don't want to see you.
When I see pictures of my ex I don't think about the many good times, I think instead about the hellish 8 months during which she pulled away from me and strung me along, slept with other people, asked me to stop calling her, etc etc etc.
YOU.
LOSE.
B out, evil grin permanantly affixed!!!
(12/10/2002; 09:58am) - Last night...
...was pleasantly uneventful.
Had a sweet workout at the gym, grabbed some boneless spareribs on my way home.
Showered, watched the history of radio on the History Channel with my roomie.
Drank Sleepytime tea with honey.
Passed out to the Daily Show.
Got disjointed phone call from GF; I was sleepy, she was stressed.
Her workload at skool is getting to her. Poor thing.
Her dog caught & ate a rat last night in the Park, his hunting skills heightened by the ice-covered ground; but not before the rat managed to nip his lip. So he left a trail of blood behind him as he walked. It was a while before my GF realized he was squirting blood. Pit bulls just DON'T CARE when they get hurt. This dog will literally fight until it is dead. It's like a Hell's Angel or a Viking or something. She managed to get him to a friend's house to clean out the wound and by the time she wrote me an email to tell me about it at 3 AM, she said the bleeding had slow to a trickle.
Her dog
is
nuts.
Bought a bacon egg & cheese wrap this morning.
I should try to save some money again this week.
B out, and I'm taking my boring day with me!
(12/09/2002; 05:56pm) - Not going
It's 6PM, Monday. I am leaving work.
Spent much of today wrestling with printers.
I'm going home, changing, going to the gym.
Then I'm going home to shower, make tea and chill in front of the TV and computer.
I'm not going to my ex's holiday party, even though she's expecting me.
I hope I make her cry.
Merry Christmas.
B, Homeward Bound.
Maybe I'll listen to Simon & Garfunkel's "Concert in the Park" CD tonight while I chill.
(12/09/2002; 02:13pm) - Decisions, decisions...
I've gotten a couple of eVites to my ex-GF's X-Mas party. Not only did I not reply to them but I took myself off of the eVite guest list (thanks eVite!). I thought that action would speak for itself but it was actually her roommate who sent out the eVite so I don't think she got the message.
So in a carefully orchestrated move, she called me last night from a number which was not programmed into my cell phone. It was strange, she caught me off-guard this time; the last 3 times she called I was able to send her to voice mail and not talk to her. The first thing she asked me (3 times, no less) was if everything was alright. As in, why hadn't I called her back? I ignored the question. After a relatively pleasant conversation, she informed me that she was having an X-Mas party tonight and she'd really really love it if I could come. I said I would try to drop by and took down her address. Why did I say that? I'm not sure, but the surprise phone call did not allow me to prepare for what I really wanted to say, which is:
"How can I possibly be friends with someone who made me feel worse about myself than anyone else ever has? Why do I want to reopen that old wound? What makes you think you deserve the priveledge of my friendship?" and all sorts of drivel like that.
My wonderful and understanding GF said that I should go, but I kinda don't want to. My GF has a one-strike-you're-out policy with people she associates with: if they fuck up, then fuck em. Who needs friends that make you feel shitty or fuck you over? That's a pretty awesome way to be happy all the time: don't stand for people fucking with you.
And it's a way of living that I'm trying to adopt. So if I go to this party, it means I've caved in a bit. And I don't want my ex to have any control over my life at all, which is why I've beed debating not going tonight.
Or, alternatively, showing up and explaining to my ex that I did indeed know about the party and that I lied to her last night when I said I hadn't gotten the eVite. And that I don't want to be friends with someone who has made me feel as bad as she did. And to have a good life, and don't call me anymore.
That would make me feel good.
But as I read back over what I just wrote I realize that I've already lost; I've already devoted quite a bit of thought to this and in doing so, I have let my ex exert control over my life again, which is exactly what I was trying to keep from happening. All this pisses me off to no end.
After talking to my GF last night I decided to not decide until this evening. If I feel like going, I'll go. If not, then I just won't go.
Annoyingly, today I A) decided definitely NOT to go
and B) decided to go but to show up at my leisure and leave after an hour.
About to cave in like a Roofied 16-yr-old at a frat party...
B, still on the fence, out.
(12/08/2002; 01:02pm) - Everything you do matter in some way
Last night I got hellaciously drunk.
I went to Tower's B-Day bash at his apt and at Welcome to the Johnsons'...
I came, I drank, I conquered.
I opened a beer with the key to my apt.
I bent the key.
I bent it back into shape.
I proceeded to get waaaay more drunk.
I came home at (fill in the blank) o'clock in the morning and broke my weakened key off in the door to my apt.
Rang buzzer repeatedly till my sleepy roommate let me in.
(We won't mention how I was wandering around in her room, college-style, at 5 in the morning, until she asked me what the fuck I was doing IN HER ROOM AT 5 IN THE MORNING, at which point I left and found my way to the bathroom. Just glad I didn't pee in her room, as I am wont to do in those situations)
She had already called the locksmith when I awoke today. It cost me $55.
That's an expensive beer.
(12/07/2002; 06:14pm) - Bloggin', chill weekend, finally a chance to relax
Okay, let's see if this works:
The mess above supposedly will put my IsMyBlogHotOrNot rating into my blog. I guess. This kumpuder doohickey is complicated.
Yesterday, after recovering from company Christmas party-induced hangover, had a very boring, chill day at work. Left early to meet up with siteOp on 22nd St where we checked out a VERY EXPENSIVE apt (copy & paste: http://www.halstead.com/asp/View_UListing.asp?WId=1254) that we're thinking about buying...
Heh.
Back to my place for tea, then out with my bro and his friend to Copperfield's, my local hangout. Then siteOp went home. Then I went with bro & friend for Indian food. Then I passed the fuck out.
Got lotsa sleep, finally.
Woke up today, made one of things I'm giving to GF for X-Mas, went to gym, came home and made the best omelette I've made yet (3 jumbo eggs, bacon, sauteed onions, cheddar cheese). Goddamn.
Now, chillin, reading HS Thompson's Hells Angels, drinking coffee, listening to trance, bloggin. Waiting for my beaustful, wonderful GF to wake up. Hope I get to see her before she rushes off to work. Loving our polar opposite schedules!!!
So far a really great weekend.
B out, content.