A Dizzy In The Lizzy

Storm Approaching

( 10/ 22/ 2; 02; 04) - Storm Approaching

What a whirlwind! I feel like I'm in the middle of a tornado, so much shit is happening so fast. There's so much sickness and depression around me, people moving in and out of my life, coming and going. Statc gives way to flux.

My love for Steph multiplies, grows in increments, quantum leaps, exponentially.

I am quickly remembering that there's another aspect to love that I had forgotten about, and that is concern. The more I care about Steph the more I want everything to be perfect for her. It aggravates me even more now, if possible, how much she gets harrassed by jackass men on a daily basis. On the phone with her yesterday I heard muffled shouts. She was walking through her neighborhood, some guys were shouting at her that she looked like a Barbie doll. Is that supposed to be a pick-up line or an insult? More likely just idiot guys shouting at the white girl to look mad cool, yo. Glad she takes her pitbull with her everywhere.

Not to mention the Pandora's Box of her psycho ex who will one day show up on her doorstep after weaseling his way back into her circle of friends, despite the many medical and legal reasons why he should not get near her. To say that she and I are in physical danger is not an exaggeration. I'm just praying that there's no situation because someone might get hurt.

Steph conveniently has evening classes when I get off work, so I hardly ever see her during the week. Even better, she has a ridiculous amount of homework and she stays up all night doing it. Then to make up for it we cram as much shit into the weekend as we can, and emerge on sunday night exhausted and sick, deliriously happy and yet sad again because Sunday night means goodbye, with work for me and more homework for Steph.

She's thinking about getting a job, it will be a weekend night job at a club, which is really cool for her in terms of connections, and fun and money. BUT, nights on the weekend is when we spend all our time together. And I'm all for my lady having a job, especially one she's excited about. It just seems like I've finally found someone worth my time and affection and now she won't have time to see me. *sigh*

Such is life. Right after my parents got married my dad left for 2 years to sail around the world in the Navy. I guess these things happen. Gotta roll with the punches.

Hecticness. Still, love carries us on.