Tales From Bangkok
geb dok mai
Sept 19, 2001
Well, amazingly enough the big news has made it to Thailand as well...
sorta interesting because it hasn't seemed to change anything. Thaksin,
the Thai prime minister, sent his condolances and that was about it.
The rest of the world had some sort of reaction but Thailand, I suppose
in its efforts to stay neutral, barely noticed. The papers have like
3-4 pages a day dedicated to it... well at least the english paper.
On a brighter note, I believe I had my first completely successful
class today. I am starting to figure it out a little. Until now I
hadn't felt as though I was doing a good job teaching. I was getting
the job done, but anyone could really do that. Some students seemed a
little disappointed, so in an effort to redeem myself, I believe I have
figured out what was at the root of the problem. The teaching materials
here suck! And how was I supposed to know? I mean, they say follow the
book, so I followed the book. Then I realized that when they said
follow the book what they really meant was, don't follow the book! I
know, I should have known, but I am a little slow that way. So anyway,
I have begun to use the book as a guide line for topics and when to
teach what, but basically, the students are happier when you stay away
from it. The listening exercises and what not are still useful, but no
one really cares about filling in the blanks... they want to talk! They
want to e-speak e-engligh. So, anyway, I am going to be a decent
teacher if it kills me.
Today there was the most insane thunderstorm I have ever seen or heard
rather. I really thought that the world was coming to an end. So as a
natural response I went outside to watch. Yes, it was raining... well
that is an understatement. It was friggin dumping. Walls of water
coming down, like standing in a waterfall that covered most of bangkok.
Then miraculously it stopped. At that was it. Like a big sneeze or
something.
I have been playing soccer with these locals a couple times a week. Now
that is great. Barefoot in an alley. The holes in my feet are a sight
to be seen, but it is all worth it. These guys are great too. Really
friendly. The game usually goes on until I can't walk any more. They
are really nice about the whole thing seeing as they don't even notice.
Poor farang. His feet are not built for such activities. : (
Lets see, I think i am on a record pace for eating the same thing the
most consequitive days in a row. MMMM. Kai Kra Tien Lard Kao. In
english. Garlic chicken on rice.
So, there are these lady-boys here. Basically transexuals, some with
the operation, some without. But all quite feminine, and most very very
beautiful. Well I should say some. It is quite shocking. So anyway, I
was sitting by the river, thinking about things, just the same old
stuff... and these two lady-boys came by. These lady-boys were not the
kind I just described. These ones could have played linebacker in the
NFL. No joke. They were huge! Really huge... scary huge. And not,
repeat, NOT feminine. So, there I was, with my headphones on, watching
the river, minding my own business, having a peaceful moment. just
minding my own business. Then one of them started trying to make eyes
with me. I politely smiled and turned away. She then proceeded to move
closer.... and closer.... inching towards me. She continued to gesture
for me to go with her and her not so beautiful friend. I shook my head,
and tried to mind my own business. Keep in mind both of these women
were much bigger than me. Within a few minutes I had one on either side
of me, too close for comfort, trying to get my attention. "hello?
hello? you handsome boy" I said "No thank you", they said "No worry
you, no money." At which point I burst into laughter because
they/she/it thought that it might be a money matter. As if that had
been the problem last time. Then one said, "where live you?" I said
nothing. Headphones, yes we love headphones. But NO. They wouldn't take
the hint. (tap tap) "hello? you handsome boy" Then they started trying
to grab me at which point, I was forced to break it down for them. Took
off my head phones, and calmly said... "you, me NO... Me no go with
Ladyboy." At this point she informed me that she was in fact not a
ladyboy and her friend assured me that they were both women. At which
point I was again forced into laughter. I wondered, if these are women,
those are some awesome steriods. Thought about recommending estrogen
pills, but then decided that such an endeavor would only prolong the
interaction. So I broke it down again, by saying "GO AWAY, I DON'T LIKE
YOU." I know, I know, it wasn't nice, but hint hint no worky. They then
got a little embarrassed cause there were quite a few people around...
they strategically retreated. However this did not stop them. They were
on a mission, and I was out numbered. They continued to make eyes at me
so I decided to recruite some allies. I politely interupted a couple
talking, and asked them (with hand gestures of course), to make the
ladyboys go away. The man then said some stuff firmly in thai, and the
ladyboys yelled, huffed and left. I assume it was pretty bad cause the
girl he was with got a little shy. I thanked him. "Kop kun Krup"and
went back to listening to music, unable to control my giggles. Ahhh,
amazing thailand.
later that same evening, I went to a late dinner with my friend vaughn.
It was probably about 1:30 in the morning. We were sitting minding our
own business when a table full of gay men started talking to us. Can
you see where this is going? Anyway, one of them said that he had seen
me around a lot and wanted to know my name. He was wearing a shinny
silver vest with no shirt. I asked him wear he had seen me and he said
that he saw me walking on the street cause he worked there. His friends
then started laughing... they were all visiably intoxicated. He then
came over and sat down next to me. We discovered that he was a police
officer, which I did not believe until today when I saw him in uniform,
and that he saw me from the police box. This man, I am telling you, was
on fire. So visiably gay, that there is no way the police department
would hire him. Although today when I saw him, he was a rock. You would
never know. He took a liking to vaughn and kept trying to kiss him and
to get vaughn to kiss him on the cheek. It was indeed a mess. I heard
that making out with male cops was not something to be persued. They
tell you at a very young age not to date cops. So vaughn and I both
resisited. Before he left, and got into his car (yes he drove) he
reached over and tried to grab my #@%&*, to which I slapped his hand
away. He then threatened to take me to jail. Vaughn said, "you can jail
us, but please please don't touch us." In retrospect it probably wasn't
the best thing to say to a drunk cop, but who knew he was actually a
cop. He luckily laughed it off and went home with his boyfriend.
Hmmmm. My first run-in with the law.
I was discussing the problem of meeting people in thailand with arnie,
my boss. The basic problem is that I have not met any thais who are
fluent in english. Not one. I have met a couple who are fairly good,
but really the number of people who speak english at all, is very low.
I blew it again at the movie theater. I still haven't figured out when
to sit down after you pay respect to the king. By the time I sit down,
everyone else is already sitting, and pointing at me. Oh, Rush Hour 2
is soooo funny. Just wonderful, my kind of humor.
I think I am going to go to Pataya next week. It is a beach town, about
2 hours from bangkok. I am hopefully going to go tuesday and come back
thursday. A little vacation... oh yes. I hear it is beautiful there. I
am getting excited.
I am also planning to go camping in October. Who knows if it will go
through, but that would be cool. We picked a national park and
everything, although I can't remember the name of it. Its beautiful
from the pictures. It will be nice if it doesn't rain.
I killed the biggest cockroach I have ever seen in my apartment the
other day. I hit it with a shoe three times before it finally bought
it. No joke. The thing had been taking calcuim pills or something. It
was a resiliant thing. So much for being Buddhist and loving all
animals and not killing anything.
Oh, interesting fact. Monks here are not supposed to eat meat. But,
they are supposed to eat whatever they are given. Since they have no
money they go to shops and ask for food. What ever they get they eat,
even if it is meat. Apparently it is worse to not eat what you are
given than to eat an animal. Interesting. I guess the theory is that
the animal is already cooked and dead, and they had no role in any of
that.
ECC still isn't going for the donkey idea. I still think it would be
great. Whoever gets an "A" gets a donkey ride. We are in severe need of
students, and what better to set us apart from the rest than a donkey.
The quest continues. I told them I would wash it.
out from asia.
Kev
sorta interesting because it hasn't seemed to change anything. Thaksin,
the Thai prime minister, sent his condolances and that was about it.
The rest of the world had some sort of reaction but Thailand, I suppose
in its efforts to stay neutral, barely noticed. The papers have like
3-4 pages a day dedicated to it... well at least the english paper.
On a brighter note, I believe I had my first completely successful
class today. I am starting to figure it out a little. Until now I
hadn't felt as though I was doing a good job teaching. I was getting
the job done, but anyone could really do that. Some students seemed a
little disappointed, so in an effort to redeem myself, I believe I have
figured out what was at the root of the problem. The teaching materials
here suck! And how was I supposed to know? I mean, they say follow the
book, so I followed the book. Then I realized that when they said
follow the book what they really meant was, don't follow the book! I
know, I should have known, but I am a little slow that way. So anyway,
I have begun to use the book as a guide line for topics and when to
teach what, but basically, the students are happier when you stay away
from it. The listening exercises and what not are still useful, but no
one really cares about filling in the blanks... they want to talk! They
want to e-speak e-engligh. So, anyway, I am going to be a decent
teacher if it kills me.
Today there was the most insane thunderstorm I have ever seen or heard
rather. I really thought that the world was coming to an end. So as a
natural response I went outside to watch. Yes, it was raining... well
that is an understatement. It was friggin dumping. Walls of water
coming down, like standing in a waterfall that covered most of bangkok.
Then miraculously it stopped. At that was it. Like a big sneeze or
something.
I have been playing soccer with these locals a couple times a week. Now
that is great. Barefoot in an alley. The holes in my feet are a sight
to be seen, but it is all worth it. These guys are great too. Really
friendly. The game usually goes on until I can't walk any more. They
are really nice about the whole thing seeing as they don't even notice.
Poor farang. His feet are not built for such activities. : (
Lets see, I think i am on a record pace for eating the same thing the
most consequitive days in a row. MMMM. Kai Kra Tien Lard Kao. In
english. Garlic chicken on rice.
So, there are these lady-boys here. Basically transexuals, some with
the operation, some without. But all quite feminine, and most very very
beautiful. Well I should say some. It is quite shocking. So anyway, I
was sitting by the river, thinking about things, just the same old
stuff... and these two lady-boys came by. These lady-boys were not the
kind I just described. These ones could have played linebacker in the
NFL. No joke. They were huge! Really huge... scary huge. And not,
repeat, NOT feminine. So, there I was, with my headphones on, watching
the river, minding my own business, having a peaceful moment. just
minding my own business. Then one of them started trying to make eyes
with me. I politely smiled and turned away. She then proceeded to move
closer.... and closer.... inching towards me. She continued to gesture
for me to go with her and her not so beautiful friend. I shook my head,
and tried to mind my own business. Keep in mind both of these women
were much bigger than me. Within a few minutes I had one on either side
of me, too close for comfort, trying to get my attention. "hello?
hello? you handsome boy" I said "No thank you", they said "No worry
you, no money." At which point I burst into laughter because
they/she/it thought that it might be a money matter. As if that had
been the problem last time. Then one said, "where live you?" I said
nothing. Headphones, yes we love headphones. But NO. They wouldn't take
the hint. (tap tap) "hello? you handsome boy" Then they started trying
to grab me at which point, I was forced to break it down for them. Took
off my head phones, and calmly said... "you, me NO... Me no go with
Ladyboy." At this point she informed me that she was in fact not a
ladyboy and her friend assured me that they were both women. At which
point I was again forced into laughter. I wondered, if these are women,
those are some awesome steriods. Thought about recommending estrogen
pills, but then decided that such an endeavor would only prolong the
interaction. So I broke it down again, by saying "GO AWAY, I DON'T LIKE
YOU." I know, I know, it wasn't nice, but hint hint no worky. They then
got a little embarrassed cause there were quite a few people around...
they strategically retreated. However this did not stop them. They were
on a mission, and I was out numbered. They continued to make eyes at me
so I decided to recruite some allies. I politely interupted a couple
talking, and asked them (with hand gestures of course), to make the
ladyboys go away. The man then said some stuff firmly in thai, and the
ladyboys yelled, huffed and left. I assume it was pretty bad cause the
girl he was with got a little shy. I thanked him. "Kop kun Krup"and
went back to listening to music, unable to control my giggles. Ahhh,
amazing thailand.
later that same evening, I went to a late dinner with my friend vaughn.
It was probably about 1:30 in the morning. We were sitting minding our
own business when a table full of gay men started talking to us. Can
you see where this is going? Anyway, one of them said that he had seen
me around a lot and wanted to know my name. He was wearing a shinny
silver vest with no shirt. I asked him wear he had seen me and he said
that he saw me walking on the street cause he worked there. His friends
then started laughing... they were all visiably intoxicated. He then
came over and sat down next to me. We discovered that he was a police
officer, which I did not believe until today when I saw him in uniform,
and that he saw me from the police box. This man, I am telling you, was
on fire. So visiably gay, that there is no way the police department
would hire him. Although today when I saw him, he was a rock. You would
never know. He took a liking to vaughn and kept trying to kiss him and
to get vaughn to kiss him on the cheek. It was indeed a mess. I heard
that making out with male cops was not something to be persued. They
tell you at a very young age not to date cops. So vaughn and I both
resisited. Before he left, and got into his car (yes he drove) he
reached over and tried to grab my #@%&*, to which I slapped his hand
away. He then threatened to take me to jail. Vaughn said, "you can jail
us, but please please don't touch us." In retrospect it probably wasn't
the best thing to say to a drunk cop, but who knew he was actually a
cop. He luckily laughed it off and went home with his boyfriend.
Hmmmm. My first run-in with the law.
I was discussing the problem of meeting people in thailand with arnie,
my boss. The basic problem is that I have not met any thais who are
fluent in english. Not one. I have met a couple who are fairly good,
but really the number of people who speak english at all, is very low.
I blew it again at the movie theater. I still haven't figured out when
to sit down after you pay respect to the king. By the time I sit down,
everyone else is already sitting, and pointing at me. Oh, Rush Hour 2
is soooo funny. Just wonderful, my kind of humor.
I think I am going to go to Pataya next week. It is a beach town, about
2 hours from bangkok. I am hopefully going to go tuesday and come back
thursday. A little vacation... oh yes. I hear it is beautiful there. I
am getting excited.
I am also planning to go camping in October. Who knows if it will go
through, but that would be cool. We picked a national park and
everything, although I can't remember the name of it. Its beautiful
from the pictures. It will be nice if it doesn't rain.
I killed the biggest cockroach I have ever seen in my apartment the
other day. I hit it with a shoe three times before it finally bought
it. No joke. The thing had been taking calcuim pills or something. It
was a resiliant thing. So much for being Buddhist and loving all
animals and not killing anything.
Oh, interesting fact. Monks here are not supposed to eat meat. But,
they are supposed to eat whatever they are given. Since they have no
money they go to shops and ask for food. What ever they get they eat,
even if it is meat. Apparently it is worse to not eat what you are
given than to eat an animal. Interesting. I guess the theory is that
the animal is already cooked and dead, and they had no role in any of
that.
ECC still isn't going for the donkey idea. I still think it would be
great. Whoever gets an "A" gets a donkey ride. We are in severe need of
students, and what better to set us apart from the rest than a donkey.
The quest continues. I told them I would wash it.
out from asia.
Kev