Tales From Bangkok
geb dok mai
Aug 6, 2001
So, I taught my first class... I can't remember if I already told you,
but if I did I know that I forgot the best part...
After we went over a bunch of material, like telling time, days of the
week, a little grammer, and some prepositions I decided that it might
be fun for them to ask me questions, and have a little discussion, just
to get them talking...
So, they did the usual, How old are you? Where are you from? What do
you do with your free time? Very basic but a little challenging for
some of them.
Then this nice little 13 year old girl who is fairly quite decided to
ask me a question...
"Um, teacher... How long are you?"
Of course I could barely keep it together, I turned bright red, and
said "excuse me... one more time." Cause I figured I had misheard her.
But, I was wrong... "How Loooong are you?" she asks.
At this point, I am about to burst out laughing, so I look at one of
the other students, and he motions with his hands, height. I said "Oh,
how TALL am I..."
"Students, I have to explain something to you. right now. You NEVER ask
how LONG someone is, it is just not right, its bad."
"Why." they ask.
oh great.
"Well, um, hmmmm, I think it is best if you just don't use it,
when you want to ask someone's height, use tall."
whoa.
Then another funny thing happened.
Toby (my friend) and I were talking to one of the girls that works in
the office who speaks fairly good english. So we were talking about
some place and she says...
"In my opening it is very dangerous."
At which point toby and I are rolling on the floor laughing (literally,
but its okay cause it is a relationship where you can joke and laugh,
promise.)
She was laughing too, but she didn't know why,
"you will never get a farang boyfriend with those words!!!" toby said.
At which point she blushed like I have never seen and realized how she
mispronounced the crucial word OPINION.
heh.
So, I went swimming at the local swimming pool while it was dark and
raining, so awesome. It is so warm at night that being outside in the
rain can be amazing. I had to teach vaughn how to swim a little, he is
horible, he looks like a drowning monkey when he tries to do it... just
thrashing everywhere, not really going anywhere. he was also afraid of
the deep-end. I guess his uncle taught him how to swim by chucking him
into the water... way to go, right?... the kid's a champ.
Okay, there is getting lost, and there is GETTING LOST! Today, I GOT
LOST! It was quite funny too because it was friggin pouring rain. There
was a foot of water in the street, and I kept getting sprayed by
cars... but luckily it was warm so I made it through it without crying,
not even one tear. but I was so damn wet that you wouldn't know either
way.
Everyone else sorta figured out how to stay relatively dry, and I was
so wet that people kept looking at me cause you could see right through
my wet shirt... winner of the wet dress shirt contest?... you guessed
it. I think they were trying to see if farang nipples look different or
something. Anyway, I would just walk around not know where I was, what
was happening, who these people were... the problem was that I took the
sky train, got off at a stop, and I was completely disoriented.
But I finally found the right bus stop a while later, and completely
waterlogged and got on bus number 76. It took me right home. ahh.
No problem...
Vaughn told me that I was the worst foreigner in Bangkok yesterday. I
just do some pretty lame things. I went to buy laundry detergent, but
couldn't read and I didn't want powder, so I accidently bought fabric
softener... heh. it was only 50 cents. Vaughn told me that they only
have powder here. who knew. I can't tie a sarong. I bought one but I
just can't make it work. I get it to stay and then go jumping around
and just like that... gone, there it went. Oh, boy! I can't open a beer
bottle with a lighter... I don't know how to order food, although I'm
learning, I don't like to drink out of a straw (they are obsessed with
them here, they ONLY drink out of straws). I hate beer with ice in it,
they love it. I guess I am not going to pass for a local for a while.
Pluck it.
I learned to count, almost. Cause I had this problem, I would ask how
how much something was in Thai, and then they would tell me in thai.
Then there was always this awkward moment where we both stare at each
other with blank faces. We would both wait, wondering what was going to
happen next. I think they always think that I am translating it into
english but in reality I have no idea what they just said. Then I would
usually break down first, and make them write it down if they couldn't
say it in english. But now, I am getting closer. I still need to learn
what 100 and 1000 are, but 1-99... no problem man.
I went to training today, to learn how to teach little kids. It was
interesting, sorta. Basically the guy ran the training like we were a
class of 5 year olds. Seriously. He told us the WHOLE story of the
gingerbread man... Run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm
the gingerbread man... boo.
He also had us line up in the middle of the classroom and he put a
picture of a shoe on one side, and a sock on the other. when he said a
word with an "s" sound we had to run to the sock, when he said one with
a "sh" sound, we would run to the shoe. Yes he had 21-45 year old
people (I am the youngest everywhere) racing each other across the
room. The last one had to sit down. I didn't get out. I was tooooo fast
for them. We stopped before I had a chance to completely win though. oh
well, I'll race my 5 year olds, kick their little butts and see how it
makes them feel.
I thought of this thing that I am going to do with some students... I
am going to write a number like
213,638,401,319,704
and make them say the number... two hundred and thirteen trillion...
whoooaaahahahhahahaha.
good right. It should get em don't you think. especially at low levels.
The best trick I have seen so far goes like this...
you write the words, fix, fits, and figs on the board. Then you pair
the students up and make one of them choose one of the words and say it
to their partner, then the partner has to figure out what word they are
saying... its a total trip. hillarious in fact. They can't do it at
all.
collect and correct get em too.
I'm a nice teacher, I swear. heh heh.
The cold morning shower is still the low point of the day.
Cleaned my tub finally, it was pretty grungy, but I am still afraid to
sit in it, I shower crouching tiger style.
The other weird thing here is people don't use TP. They have a hose
with a spray nozzle... it has three times more pressure than my
showerhead does. For a while I was using it to hose down the bathroom
and battle roaches. I thought it was the friendly bathroom washing
tool. But then I got asked the question, "Do you use TP?" and I said
"of course," they said that I should try the bum washer... so for like
2 days I would always look at the thing and just laugh, no way! it
looked so cold. I would always dismiss it, "that can't be a good idea!"
But then, I had to try... If everyone was doing it, maybe it was
better... right?
The lesson, don't pull the lever all the way.
I am still conflicted about the whole thing.
Sorry about the potty talk, ahh different cultures, I get the biggest kick out of em.
Kev
but if I did I know that I forgot the best part...
After we went over a bunch of material, like telling time, days of the
week, a little grammer, and some prepositions I decided that it might
be fun for them to ask me questions, and have a little discussion, just
to get them talking...
So, they did the usual, How old are you? Where are you from? What do
you do with your free time? Very basic but a little challenging for
some of them.
Then this nice little 13 year old girl who is fairly quite decided to
ask me a question...
"Um, teacher... How long are you?"
Of course I could barely keep it together, I turned bright red, and
said "excuse me... one more time." Cause I figured I had misheard her.
But, I was wrong... "How Loooong are you?" she asks.
At this point, I am about to burst out laughing, so I look at one of
the other students, and he motions with his hands, height. I said "Oh,
how TALL am I..."
"Students, I have to explain something to you. right now. You NEVER ask
how LONG someone is, it is just not right, its bad."
"Why." they ask.
oh great.
"Well, um, hmmmm, I think it is best if you just don't use it,
when you want to ask someone's height, use tall."
whoa.
Then another funny thing happened.
Toby (my friend) and I were talking to one of the girls that works in
the office who speaks fairly good english. So we were talking about
some place and she says...
"In my opening it is very dangerous."
At which point toby and I are rolling on the floor laughing (literally,
but its okay cause it is a relationship where you can joke and laugh,
promise.)
She was laughing too, but she didn't know why,
"you will never get a farang boyfriend with those words!!!" toby said.
At which point she blushed like I have never seen and realized how she
mispronounced the crucial word OPINION.
heh.
So, I went swimming at the local swimming pool while it was dark and
raining, so awesome. It is so warm at night that being outside in the
rain can be amazing. I had to teach vaughn how to swim a little, he is
horible, he looks like a drowning monkey when he tries to do it... just
thrashing everywhere, not really going anywhere. he was also afraid of
the deep-end. I guess his uncle taught him how to swim by chucking him
into the water... way to go, right?... the kid's a champ.
Okay, there is getting lost, and there is GETTING LOST! Today, I GOT
LOST! It was quite funny too because it was friggin pouring rain. There
was a foot of water in the street, and I kept getting sprayed by
cars... but luckily it was warm so I made it through it without crying,
not even one tear. but I was so damn wet that you wouldn't know either
way.
Everyone else sorta figured out how to stay relatively dry, and I was
so wet that people kept looking at me cause you could see right through
my wet shirt... winner of the wet dress shirt contest?... you guessed
it. I think they were trying to see if farang nipples look different or
something. Anyway, I would just walk around not know where I was, what
was happening, who these people were... the problem was that I took the
sky train, got off at a stop, and I was completely disoriented.
But I finally found the right bus stop a while later, and completely
waterlogged and got on bus number 76. It took me right home. ahh.
No problem...
Vaughn told me that I was the worst foreigner in Bangkok yesterday. I
just do some pretty lame things. I went to buy laundry detergent, but
couldn't read and I didn't want powder, so I accidently bought fabric
softener... heh. it was only 50 cents. Vaughn told me that they only
have powder here. who knew. I can't tie a sarong. I bought one but I
just can't make it work. I get it to stay and then go jumping around
and just like that... gone, there it went. Oh, boy! I can't open a beer
bottle with a lighter... I don't know how to order food, although I'm
learning, I don't like to drink out of a straw (they are obsessed with
them here, they ONLY drink out of straws). I hate beer with ice in it,
they love it. I guess I am not going to pass for a local for a while.
Pluck it.
I learned to count, almost. Cause I had this problem, I would ask how
how much something was in Thai, and then they would tell me in thai.
Then there was always this awkward moment where we both stare at each
other with blank faces. We would both wait, wondering what was going to
happen next. I think they always think that I am translating it into
english but in reality I have no idea what they just said. Then I would
usually break down first, and make them write it down if they couldn't
say it in english. But now, I am getting closer. I still need to learn
what 100 and 1000 are, but 1-99... no problem man.
I went to training today, to learn how to teach little kids. It was
interesting, sorta. Basically the guy ran the training like we were a
class of 5 year olds. Seriously. He told us the WHOLE story of the
gingerbread man... Run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm
the gingerbread man... boo.
He also had us line up in the middle of the classroom and he put a
picture of a shoe on one side, and a sock on the other. when he said a
word with an "s" sound we had to run to the sock, when he said one with
a "sh" sound, we would run to the shoe. Yes he had 21-45 year old
people (I am the youngest everywhere) racing each other across the
room. The last one had to sit down. I didn't get out. I was tooooo fast
for them. We stopped before I had a chance to completely win though. oh
well, I'll race my 5 year olds, kick their little butts and see how it
makes them feel.
I thought of this thing that I am going to do with some students... I
am going to write a number like
213,638,401,319,704
and make them say the number... two hundred and thirteen trillion...
whoooaaahahahhahahaha.
good right. It should get em don't you think. especially at low levels.
The best trick I have seen so far goes like this...
you write the words, fix, fits, and figs on the board. Then you pair
the students up and make one of them choose one of the words and say it
to their partner, then the partner has to figure out what word they are
saying... its a total trip. hillarious in fact. They can't do it at
all.
collect and correct get em too.
I'm a nice teacher, I swear. heh heh.
The cold morning shower is still the low point of the day.
Cleaned my tub finally, it was pretty grungy, but I am still afraid to
sit in it, I shower crouching tiger style.
The other weird thing here is people don't use TP. They have a hose
with a spray nozzle... it has three times more pressure than my
showerhead does. For a while I was using it to hose down the bathroom
and battle roaches. I thought it was the friendly bathroom washing
tool. But then I got asked the question, "Do you use TP?" and I said
"of course," they said that I should try the bum washer... so for like
2 days I would always look at the thing and just laugh, no way! it
looked so cold. I would always dismiss it, "that can't be a good idea!"
But then, I had to try... If everyone was doing it, maybe it was
better... right?
The lesson, don't pull the lever all the way.
I am still conflicted about the whole thing.
Sorry about the potty talk, ahh different cultures, I get the biggest kick out of em.
Kev