A Dizzy In The Lizzy

Call me old-fashioned

(01/16/2003; 05:05pm) - Call me old-fashioned

Today some coworkers within earshot of my cubicle were talking about not letting their girlfriends go out alone with other guys. I take it that a lot of guys feel this way, and that women too would not trust their boyfriends with other women.

This may seem like an odd thing for a 24-year-old straight guy to say, but that's really not the way this whole thing should be. I realize that I'm in the unique position of having a partner I can really trust. I have been fucked over before by girls but my present GF and I have talk VERY extensively about trust issues in post-millennium relationships. I think it's terrible that people don't trust their partners enough to let them out of sight with a member of the opposite sex, for fear that their partners will cheat on them.

Trust is one of the most basic and most important building blocks of any relationship, intimate or platonic. If you can't trust her, why are you with her? One of my coworkers said "Yo, if I found out she went out with a bunch of guys partying at night I'd fucking smack her." or something to that effect. "You gotta check that bitch" is another thing I heard. Damn, I feel like an old grandpa but what the hell is the point of dating someone if you're constantly worried that they're gonna cheat on you?

I go out with girls all the time. I just go out. I don't hit on them. I don't make half-assed advances, I don't get drunk and start pawing at them. That's not right and it's disrespectful to my lady. And it's just not fun. That's for when I'm single. Actually, I hate that shit when I'm single too...

A few times in the past few weeks my GF has gone out with guys, once it was her ex and his new GF, once it was with a bunch of crazy party boys she knew from college. And that's fine. Why should I tell her who she can hang out with? And who cares? As long as she has fun. We've talked alot about being monogamous and we're both all for it. She says her GFs don't understand her either. She's said that if I ever cheated on her, that would be it, relationship over, and she's never look back. I know she understands that it works both ways. It has to. She cheats on me, I'm out the door. And neither of us are good at lying so there's no chance of some sort of clandestine betrayal.

When guys hit on her it just annoys her and she ignores them. She'll even tell me about it and we'll have a good laugh. I guess not everybody can be as lucky as us, nor as forthcoming.

But damn, it really annoyed me when I piped up and told my coworker that me and my GF didn't have to worry about shit like that because we trust each other. He was certain that my girl was playing me because she goes out with other guys on occasion. Isn't that sad? (And wouldn't it be funny if I'm sticking my foot in my mouth right now?! No.)

But no, you have to love recklessly and without forethought. To live your life in any other way, to bottle your love up inside for fear of getting hurt, would cut you off from experiencing your life to the fullest. And so I love this girl, and I put my trust in her, and I feel sad for anyone else who feels they have to live their lives any differently.

What a gay rant.

B out