A Dizzy In The Lizzy

Time to slow down. at least it's the weekend

(11/22/2002; 04:20pm) - Time to slow down. at least it's the weekend

Whoa.
So for the past 4 hours I've been in an extremely negative mood, sorta sick inside my head, I think sitting here in front of my computer, clicking on CNN.com, thinking about how wrong everything is, has been really getting to me. Couple that with trying to kick a cold, and never seeing my GF, and being generally sick of work, I've been experiencing a sort of bad trip. That's the closest approximation. Less intense, of course, but I definitely fel like I need to chill out a bunch this weekend. All this hecticness has been getting to me. I think I will remain sober, too, that should help.
I feel a bit better now. I resolved to walk home from work, should only take about 25 minutes, just to clear my head. The prospect of that cheered me up.
Hopefully I get to see my girl tonight, too, that should be nice.

Seriously, that was bad. I gotta stop worrying about politics and the impending war, it's buggin me out. Ignorance is bliss. I'm torturing myself about things that I have no control over.
Not smart.

But I keep fantasizing about leaving this ridiculous, hectic, wasteful lifestyle behind and moving out west to join my boy Nate, who seems to have things figured out for himself. He teaches people how to ski during the winter, the summers he either does the same in Chile or he works in a restaurant. That's a lot simpler than living in NYC, working corporate, killing myself in 800 different ways.

Anyway, these negative feelings are beginning to pass, so that's good. I'm so weary, so tired of all this negative energy in the world. So many bad thing have happened, are happening, will happen.

But the less I think about that the happier I am. Here we go, trying to find happiness amidst the horror...

wish me luck

B