Talking To The Screen
Malice :1993
***BE WARNED: I WILL RUIN THIS MOVIE FOR YOU, AND NOT APOLOGIZE, IT'S ONE OF THE LEAST ENJOYABLE MOVIES I'VE EVER SEEN**** Bill Pullman, Nicole Kidman, and Alec Baldwin star in this nearly unwatchable suspense movie. Bill Pullman plays Andy Safian, the Assistant Dean of a small New England College being preyed upon by a serial rapist. Nicole Kidman is Andy's lovely wife, Tracy Kennsinger. The hospital in this sleepy Massachusetts town has just welcomed to its surgical staff the great Dr. Jed Hill, a big-shot MD out of Boston played transparently by Alec Baldwin. It turns out that Andy and Jed went to high school together, although Jed doesn't remember. Jed being a popular big shot his entire life couldn't be expected to remember the bookish Safian. Andy quickly becomes mildly infatuated with Jed, and in need of the money, agrees to rent him a room in the Safian home. Tracy suffers from abdominal pains. One night, they reach the point of incapacitation, and she is rushed to the hospital, where who else but Dr. Hill should be operating on her. (Of course, Dr. Hill has been out drinking, but that's no matter.) The surgeon discovers that Tracy has a burst ovarian cyst, and removes one ovary. He discovers a cyst on her other ovary and suspecting that she won't survive the night, removes that one too. Tracy then leaves Andy: he made the call to remove the second ovary, and Tracy can't face the reality of not having kids with him in her life. Then Tracy sues Dr. Hill and the hospital for millions of dollars, leaving Andy with nothing. There's the premise, now the pan. Never before have I been so unmoved by a suspense movie (if it's even worthy of the genre). The dialog foreshadows the twists so heavy-handedly, that they're not even plot twists any more. In one scene Andy says to Tracy, "[Jed]'s an old friend." Tracy: "No, he's not, you don't even know him." In another, when asked by a fellow doctor if he and Dr. Hill will get along, Jed replies, "Don't be ridiculous, everybody likes me." Of course, Alec Baldwin is the bad guy. He's the unknown, rowdy, abrasive, arrogant guy who reeks of deception. Nicole Kidman delivers a passable performance, dragged down to the gutter by the transparent swill that is Pullman and Baldwin's effort. Alec Baldwin has a monologue during the deposition scene about doctors and God complexes that is clearly meant to be moving and revealing. It's neither. It comes off as unbelievable and stupid. Based on the capacity to grant life doctors have been known to liken themselves to God. If this is a surprise, maybe you'll enjoy 'Malice', the suspense is about that thick. Notice how I haven't mentioned the serial rapist lurking around the college campus? Yeah, well neither does 'Malice'. It's used as a cheap device to show that Andy Safian is sterile. This is important because it turns out that Tracy was pregnant *gasp* when her ovaries were removed. Meaning *drum roll* she was having an affair. I can't bitch about this movie enough. Point being; don't waste your time on it. How Anne Bancroft got talked into playing Tracy's alcoholic mother is beyond me.