I first heard about this flick while flipping through the Village Voice while 
waiting online to go to a free preview in New York.   I had been a Salma Hayek 
fan since 'Desperado' and 'From Dusk til Dawn', and was excited to see her in a 
smaller movie, something with more feeling.  Vincent D'Onofrio is a character 
actor among character actors who first caught my (and everybody else's) eye in 
'Full Metal Jacket'.  Naturally this flick piqued my interest.  

Now that I've told my admiration for two of the three stars of 'The Velocity of 
Gary' (not to neglect Thomas Jane, the third star, I hadn't heard of him before 
this), I feel comfortable panning this movie without dishing out too much 
disrespect.

I've never been so bored with a Gen-X lower east side NYC story.

Let me set the stage briefly.  Vincent D'Onofrio plays an ex-porn star, 
Valentino.  He's dating Mary Carmen (Salma Hayek), the waitress at the local 
Twin Donut.  Valentino is also dating Gary (Thomas Jane), quintessential gay 
heartthrob.  This novel love triangle lends itself to some really nice conflict 
between the three players.  By the time the film opens the three are already 
comfortable with this "menage e what?". There are some (not enough, in my 
opinion) flashback scenes showing the resolution between Mary Carmen and Gary, 
so it's not completely farfetched.  There are some other truly charming downtown 
characters that decorate the movie so nicely:  Two black transvestites who 
harass the squares, Ethan Hawk as the owner of a tattoo parlor next to the Twin 
Donut, a deaf transvestite who lip syncs to Patsy Cline, and a surprise role for 
Olivia D'Abo, Kevin's older sister from the Wonder Years.

So far, so good, right?

Then it turns out that Valentino has AIDS, and a lovely setup is ruined.  All 
the wonderful characters disappear leaving Mary Carmen and Gary fighting over 
how to care for a dying Valentino.  They fight over what food they have in the 
house and when rent is due.  "Didn't we pay that last month?"  Long gone is the 
passion, the pace, all we are left with are some Dracula references and 
disintegrating man.
 
One highlight though. Look for Salma Hayek as Diana Ross lip-syncing "Ain't No 
Mountain High Enough" in the Halloween scene.  Very much fun. 

I appreciate that it's difficult to keep the story of a man slowly dying 
interesting.  But really, why make a pointless slow movie when you have such 
beauty in Hayek, and talent in D'Onofrio at your fingertips.  All in all, this 
is not as effective or relevant an AIDS drama as 'Philadelphia'.