A Dizzy In The Lizzy

You are alive, goddamnit.

(03/21/2003; 06:24pm) - You are alive, goddamnit.

Friday afternoon, work is over.

I'm still here but the phone have stopped ringing and I took and hour and 15 min out of my day for a trip to the gym so sitting here at 6:30 PM on a friday when everyone has left the office doens't seem so bad. I have nothing really to do tonight, my GF is working and going straight from working at a club to working at a huge party so she's gonna be off somewhere in the middle of insanity for the next... oh... 36 hours.

She threatened to bring a few gimps back from the party to clean her house for her. She asked me how I would feel if I came to her place and found a few gimps cleaning the floor with toothbrushes. I attempted to answer honestly. The honest answer would be, "Uhh, okay baby either the gimps leave now or I leave." The fantasy answer, which is much more thrilling, is that I would go apeshit on them (they are gimps after all) and I would beat them all into oblivion with Hibben Fantasy Knives and a baseball bat.

Needless to say I was telling her all this at work and my coworkers, average Joes from Jersey and LI, think I'm insane.

Things with the girl are fantastically great. Every once in awhile we get the uncontrollable urges to tell each other how great the other is... why we love each other. This is love, and it's great, and we're like Frik and Frak and pretty much everyone is jealous.

Haha!

Work this week was busy but I've begun doing more graphic design-type projects and getting plenty of praise and I think my professionalism and creativity is showing through. Not that that will really get me anywhere in terms of my career or salary, but it's nice to hear "Wow, you're getting really good at that!" from my boss...

So now what? We're in a war but I don't care because I'm in love. I don't support my President or the political shenanigans of our politicians but what can one Benny do besides vote for someone respectable next election? It's pouring out and I have no plans on a friday evening but I don't mind either of those things. I am leaving work fulfilled and energetic and full of wonder and awe at how FUCKING REAL everything has gotten lately. The cycle of life and death is right up in your face now, and you can't help but to appreciate your life, no matter how it seems to be going.

Lucky to be alive, lucky to have enough money to be able to squander some if it on the weekends, to have enough resources to own a pair of sneakers SOLELY for the gym, to be able to take functional public transportation home from my cozy job and buy whatever the hell I want for dinner on my way. Pick up my laundry from the Chinese lady across the street because I'm just that lazy, I have that much money, and that many clothes. Decadent? Yes. Do I appreciate how much better I have it than 99% of the planet? Yes.

You are alive, it's a fucking miracle, now go out and celebrate because I don't know about you but I have a maximum of about 80 years left here on this Earth and I'm gonna cram as much fun shit into that as I can. And I could still step out onto Lexington Avenue in 5 minutes and get squashed by a cab, so I gotta start cramming the fun in now, like frat boys cramming into a VW Beetle.

It's a fucking miracle.

Go out and celebrate.

Are you listening?