A Dizzy In The Lizzy

V-Day: this holiday is kinda weird.

(02/13/2003; 05:22pm) - V-Day: this holiday is kinda weird.

Ahh, Valentine's Day. The bane of singles everywhere. The holiday where the most people feel alienated. It's basically like, "Hey, if you're not with someone right now that is totally in love with you, YOU SUCK!!!"

I never really liked it, the whole premise always made me uncomfortable. It's one of those perversions of an innocent idea, like Christmas: Let's all celebrate the birth of Jesus, a kind and gentle man. A leader of men, the physical representation of goodness and the possibilities of human kindness... by DEMANDING THAT EVERYONE BUY LOTS OF SHIT FOR EVERYONE ELSE!!! BWAHAHAHAHAA

Valentine's Day is like the same thing: Aww, you know, we should all show all the cool people in our lives how much we care, just drop all the pretense and celebrate the life of one of the kindest, most loving Saints to ever live.... BY BUYING LOTS OF SHIT FOR OUR LIFE PARTNERS!!!! Oh wait, you're single in mid February? YOU MUST BE SOME KIND OF FUCKING FREAK!!!!!

Well anyway, this February I find myself deeply in love with an beautifully insane girl. So I'm one of the lucky ones. But I feel for all my compatriats who are trudging ahead alone. Believe me, I know how that feels. Last Valentine's Day I was wallowing in the depths of self-pity. I thought nothing would ever get better. I hated life, I hated death, I hated sobriety, I hated the fickleness of females, I hated this day. I hated people who could share it with someone. I hated the idea that I was stupid enough to entrust a chunk of my heart, the most precious resource of my being, to another human. And I hated that she was dumb enough to take that trust for granted.

So it's no surprise to me that this year I sorta don't know what to make of Valentine's Day. Do I make a big deal or not? I know my lady is a tad strapped for cash and so what she gets me will not be big. Whew. Pressure's off a bit. I don't have much money either. And I know that she laughs at people's attempts to buy her love with material posessions. She's smart enough to recognize that love is more precious than any piece of jewelry or clothing or whatever the fuck normal idiots give their significant others.

In that light I need to be creative (thank god I'm good at that too) and either make something or do something really cool for her. I could buy something but it's gotta be really special.
I went to hardware store today to pick up materials for what I wanted to make for her, but the salesman told me that razor blades are made of a very brittle metal and that and attempt to shape them by bending would have them shatter into several very sharp shards. So my idea of making her a rose out of barbed wire and shaped double-sided razor blades was a no-go. I suppose I could increase the malleability and decrease the brittleness of any metal by heating it up, but then I'm working with very very hot, very sharp pieces of metal that could still explode into flesh-shredding missiles at any given second.

So anyway, here I am, wondering what to do.
I'm leaving work now to wander around midtown checking out my prospects.

Here's to an uneventful V-Day for us all. I love getting emails from cowrokers saying that a guy with a "smart bomb" is somewhere in Manhattan, intending to blow us up on Valentine's Day.

B out, shaken but not stirred